So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
