Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
