I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
