You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
