i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
