maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
