Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
