Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize