Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize