Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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