Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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