Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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