Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
