I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
