You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
