Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
