So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
