There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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