Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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