At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
