a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
