whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Since when is my clitoris pierced?