Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks

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(704): you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks http://tfl.nu/c3vj

Replies (49) Good night (4484) Bad night (1226)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks

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(908): We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks http://tfl.nu/lwab

Replies (10) Good night (4229) Bad night (1506)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)

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(303): Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!) http://tfl.nu/z6cg

Replies (49) Good night (8141) Bad night (1208)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

did you answer or finish?

(404): View more from Georgia

both

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(404): Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called? (1-404): did you answer or finish? (404): both http://tfl.nu/gzoz

Replies (27) Good night (7390) Bad night (1012)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

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(256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed. http://tfl.nu/8aru

Replies (28) Good night (5092) Bad night (2037)
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(404): View more from Georgia

boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.

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(404): boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am. http://tfl.nu/8njg

Replies (6) Good night (1097) Bad night (3294)
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(515): View more from Iowa

The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.

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(515): The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites. http://tfl.nu/ny6g

Replies (8) Good night (4581) Bad night (1503)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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(617): I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/pj90

Replies (8) Good night (1186) Bad night (4050)
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(802): View more from Vermont

she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.

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(802): she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings. http://tfl.nu/exva

Replies (14) Good night (3427) Bad night (866)
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(636): View more from Missouri

She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome

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(636): She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome http://tfl.nu/8vj5

Replies (9) Good night (5060) Bad night (842)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?

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(503): Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower? http://tfl.nu/g495

Replies (32) Good night (1613) Bad night (5045)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.

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(603): what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back. http://tfl.nu/v7kr

Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (1632)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.

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(250): Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys. http://tfl.nu/97m7

Replies (3) Good night (1207) Bad night (477)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...

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(306): how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk? (1-306): you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you... http://tfl.nu/x6zk

Replies (0) Good night (1300) Bad night (253)
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(818): View more from California

Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick

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(818): Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick http://tfl.nu/tc3y

Replies (0) Good night (725) Bad night (216)

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