Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores" http://tfl.nu/e2re
  Replies (37) Good night (916) Bad night (8648)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations http://tfl.nu/6ok5
  Replies (10) Good night (1419) Bad night (4055)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say.... http://tfl.nu/7igc
  Replies (41) Good night (1090) Bad night (2894)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night http://tfl.nu/pk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4722) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his http://tfl.nu/p9g4
  Replies (45) Good night (719) Bad night (6148)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them? http://tfl.nu/br07
  Replies (99) Good night (1731) Bad night (5556)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/qqt4
  Replies (4) Good night (1212) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils. http://tfl.nu/mamt
  Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!! http://tfl.nu/bmaq
  Replies (5) Good night (903) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me. http://tfl.nu/6mb8
  Replies (8) Good night (683) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember http://tfl.nu/t07z
  Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking? http://tfl.nu/6uzh
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here http://tfl.nu/l846
  Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting. http://tfl.nu/zbal
  Replies (6) Good night (752) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm http://tfl.nu/e7hi
  Replies (1) Good night (154) Bad night (319)

Randomize