loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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