a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar