So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?