Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.

Fav 13 1786 4149
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno

Fav 3 3830 976
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.

Fav 17 4964 913
share tweet
(510): View more from California

i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.

Fav 33 2286 5847
share tweet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

Fav 9 5322 1285
share tweet
(715): View more from Wisconsin

Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures

Fav 6 3267 1768
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(989): View more from Michigan

I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.

Fav 13 4647 1586
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already

Fav 0 341 212
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.

Fav 2 52 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT