I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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