It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.