there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
