She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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