Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
