he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
