Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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