You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
