Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
