Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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