Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There are leaves in my underwear?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
