we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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