as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
