you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
