Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
