i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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