Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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