Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
