i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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