im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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