I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
