Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Acid is not a monday night drug
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize