You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize