I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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