She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
