im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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