The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
