Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
