Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
