I'm eating all of the evidence.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
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If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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