Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize