dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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