It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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