wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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