Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
