I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
