no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
