another moral hangover. fuck.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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