I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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