butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
