Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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