Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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