he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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